2 January 06

A Child on the Way

I have been seriously absent here. Quite sorry. I will try and be more diligent with writing…and damn, I need to get those photos up too. (Actually, photo delays are a technology thing; can’t make up my mind whether to go Flickr, PhotoStack, or roll my own with Textpattern functionality. In any case, just know that I’m working on it.)

This article is about the latest, biggest news: Hanane and I are expecting our first child; should be arriving mid May. Hanane’s excitement is quite infectious so, yeah, we’re both pretty giddy. Both sides of the family have been very interested in knowing about what flavor, boy or girl, and of course what names. This has been both interesting and a pain in the arse.

As for boy or girl, we are waiting for the child’s birth to find out, which means everyone else has to wait too. Call me old-fashioned, but I just think you have to leave that part as a surprise. The idea of all the fucking advanced planning (read as commercialism) that comes from knowing a baby’s gender before it’s even born doesn’t appeal to me at all. We do use the technology to monitor health and such, and in that respect all is A+, but when I first see balls (or otherwise) with my own eyes, then you’ll know the score as well.

We also have names picked out either way, and for the time being that is under wraps too. The gender thing is itself frustrating Hanane’s sisters, but keeping the names a secret on top of it is driving them absolutely nuts. They are relentless with the questions (and mind you there are four sisters), and every time we all gather at Hanane’s parents’ place they try and guess names hoping that if they get one right we will acknowledge it. They haven’t guessed right, and in any case we will not tell them if they do.

We didn’t really expect to go silent about the names, and in fact the names we have lined up now are not the names we originally had picked out. I shared the original names with my family and the choice for a girl’s name wasn’t liked very well for reasons I felt were a bit off target and not very considerate to the cultural relevance that exists. I took things a bit too defensively, perhaps, some feelings were expressed, and by the end of it Hanane and I decided to pick new names and not tell anyone what they are—either her family, mine, nor anyone else—until later in the game.

Hanane’s father told me on the side that in France we don’t have to give the baby a name until seven days after the birth. We might just wait until then to to say anything for a little added fun.

Side: I teased my dear sister, Celeste, about her baby’s name, and in hindsight I realize how that probably hurt a bit. A baby’s name, after all, is a personal issue for parents and everyone else should respect that fact and keep their traps shut. I’m sorry, sister, you did the right thing and Pearl is a fabulous name.

In actuality I don’t really care if people know the names Hanane and I have selected now or not, because my skin is a bit thicker and I wouldn’t listen to what people had to say anyway. Nevertheless, the decision about when names are revealed is Hanane’s, and I respect what she wants to do. Right now she’s not telling her family so I’m not telling mine. On the other hand, it’s me who doesn’t want to know the gender and so Hanane is respecting that in return. The rest of the world will just have to wait with us.

Floral Pattern

  1. Shona :: 5 January 06 :: #

    Hey Des,

    I respect that you have gone silent with the names and making it a surprise…at least the first born should be a surprise. I will be patiently waiting on this news and seeing pics of my new niece or nephew.

  2. Troy :: 6 January 06 :: #

    Congrats to you and Hanane. Guess its reassuring to know your little guys can swim…... :)

  3. Destry :: 6 January 06 :: #

    @Shona: I probably wouldn’t change the system for any others that might come along. Suprises all across the board. But hey, let’s not count chickens before the eggs are laid.

    @Troy: No kidding. How’s that Alaskan winter treating you?

  4. andreas :: 8 January 06 :: #

    Hi Destry,
    just stumbled on this site.

    Congratulations to becoming parents! I wish you that your baby will be healthy and well!

    About the names:

    A baby’s name, after all, is a personal issue for parents and everyone else should respect that fact and keep their traps shut.

    I agree wholeheartedly. I’m a teacher and therefore often meet children with “strange” names but after you’ve met them, their name just becomes part of them and is no longer something “separate” to think strange of. A person simply has their name and when you know the person it doesn’t matter what it is.

    In my experience, the strangest name becomes “normal” after a very short time.