5 November 04
The Catch-Up Chronicles: Part II
This is Part II of what I am calling The Catch-Up Chronicles, and it pretty much picks up where Part I left off.
My New Digs
For those that are familiar with Seattle, Hanane and I’s apartment is about the distance from downtown Strasbourg as the University district is from downtown Seattle (about 3 or 4 miles or so). Hanane has done a really nice job of putting our place together. She was so worried about what I would think, and about making me feel comfortable when I arrived, but it’s very cool and I made sure she knew she did a great job. We have some fantastic Moroccan furniture that she special ordered from Morocco, as well as many lamps, bowls, and other customary items. She ordered some nice slabs of brick-colored granite and had a custom dining and coffee tables made with them. We also have wood floors that have been refinished, and the kitchen and bathroom are all newly remodeled and looking quite modern. Hanane had to have each of the two bedrooms equipped with new closets, as they were just empty rooms before (which seemed very odd to me).
We live in the top floor of a four-floor building, and we have the end apartment furthest from the main road, so are apartment is actually very quiet. There’s a grocery store and a Turkish market within walking distance and several city buses have routes along our road, which makes it very easy to get downtown. That’s good for me, as I will likely not be driving for quite some time. We do live right next to two train lines; one literally runs right outside of our bedrooms, and the other is about 250 meters the other direction, across the main road. Strangely, the line that runs right outside our bedroom is rarely (if ever, it seems) used. In the time I’ve been here so far, there has not yet been a single train go by our building on this track. I don’t know what’s up with that yet, but frankly, I’m happy about it. The other train line is the exact opposite, it has various cargo and commuter lines running back and forth along it nearly on the hour, if not more frequent; however, you hardly notice them (though it is approaching winter and the windows are shut tight). The sound is more like a faint hum of machinery off in the distance. In fact, it’s a sound I’m becoming oddly fond of.
Meeting The Family
(Note: I am opting to not use the names of Hanane’s family here out of consideration for their privacy. Personal communication is a different situation.)
Hanane’s parents insisted that we go and have dinner the second night I was here (13 October). They actually wanted this to take place the very night I arrived, but Hanane supported my wishes for at least one night of rest before dealing with the introductions. This was a big, anxious, nerve-wracking event for both Hanane and myself, as it was the first time I was to come face-to-face with these people after more than five years of secrecy with Hanane. I’ve never been so nervous, but it went better than I would have expected. Hanane’s mom prepared a traditional dinner, and we all sat around a table in their Moroccan den and ate with our hands from the same big platter. Hanane, one of her sisters, and her brother translated for me when needed, but mainly there was a lot of French/Arabic gab between the family (none of which I could understand) about me and what was coming up (big stuff I’ll get to later). The whole experience was very new to me, to say the least. I was doing my best to follow along and was pretty tense the whole night, but everyone else seemed relaxed and friendly (though outwardly curious about me), which helped quite a bit. Hanane’s entire immediate family (parents and siblings) were there except one sister, who was away at school but would be in town a week later. (I have since met her; she was here for a week-long break from school, but has again returned to Brittany for classes. She will arrive again for our wedding later in November.)
Marriage Documents
Hanane had taken the week of my arrival off from work so we could have some time together and take care of a few things. One of the first things we tended to, and good that we did, was go to the City Hall, clarify my paperwork for marrying in France, and to try and set a date for our wedding (which has to be done at the City Hall since I’m a foreign national). It turned out that most of the documents I had brought with me from Seattle were not acceptable. Even though my documents were prepared by an attorney, physician, and translator all registered with the French Consulat in San Francisco, properly prepared with the required forms, and officially notarized and validated with signatures and Apostilles, the documents wouldn’t work because they were not prepared in France. That was it, the sole explanation (which is no explanation at all), the documents had to be created in France (by the respective authorities). The situation completely contradicted what I had learned about obtaining my documents as communicated on the Website of the French Consulat in San Francisco. The only thing that was valid was my birth certificate, but of course not the translation of it I had done in Seattle, that too had to be redone in France.
Thankfully, things didn’t turn out as bad as they could have; for instance, I didn’t have to return to the states because of some long, drawn-out delays. I’ve talked about the various documents I needed before in another post, this one, so check that out if you want more detail about the forms I’m about to discuss.
The Affidavit of Law I had, which was a statement by me declaring my single-status (a declaration that I’m not already married) witnessed in front of an attorney registered with the French Consulat, had to be replaced with a Certificate of Celibacy with the approving stamp of the American Consulat Officer in Strasbourg. Replacing this was not too big of deal, it was simply a quick visit to the American Consulat to pick up the necessary form and make an appointment the following week to get the approving stamp (the Consulat Officer was away on business, which is why I had to wait and go back).
Your also supposed to have a medical exam, which I had done in Seattle. The City Hall in Strasbourg would not accept the document from this exam, even though it was done correctly by a doctor recognized by the French Consulat in San Francisco. This could have been more of a hassle than it turned out to be, because trying to find and schedule such an exam might have taken quite some time, and time is something Hanane and I didn’t have. We met with Hanane’s physician, showed him my official medical results from the states, explained our situation, and he graciously wrote-up a new form with my previous results, notarized it, and we were good to go. Hanane also had her exam done that same day, so she gained her medical form for the marriage as well.
As I mentioned, even though my birth certificate was valid, the translation that I had paid for, done by a translator registered with the French Consulat in San Francisco, was not recognized. The American Consulat in Strasbourg directed us to a place I can only remember as a Tribunal of some sort where we were to find a list of translators that were accepted by the Strasbourg City Hall. Once again we hopped into the car and made our way to the Tribunal, where Hanane picked out the name of a translator. The translator lived downtown, so we were able to drop off my birth certificate the next day. She (the translator) had the translation ready the same day I went back to the American Consulat to have my Certificate of Celibacy stamped. The only other document I needed was a copy of my passport, but since American passports already have French translations written into them, there was no problem there.
I’m happy to report that when we took all of our newly acquired documents back to Strasbrourg City Hall, all of our documents were approved, they started a marriage file for us, and we made the date for our Wedding on 27 November.
French Lessons
Hanane enrolled me in some beginning French lessons before I arrived (Wednesday and Friday nights), and my first class was the second night in Strasbourg. It’s supposed to be a absolute beginner class, but on the first night it was apparent that practically everyone in the class easily spoke French well enough to make it on the street no problem. I mean some people were having full conversations in French with the professor. I was thinking…shit, this is beginning? By the end of the class it was apparent that some people would be leaving to another class more appropriate to their level, and sure enough when I returned on Friday, the class had shrunk from about 12 down to 5 people, myself included. The French class is conversational in style; in other words, there is no text, or lessons on grammar. It’s simply the professor posing questions to us in French and trying to elicite some kind of French response back. Frankly, I don’t think it’s working. I think I’m learning more just by sitting at home and watching television commercials (Note to self: French television commercials are a good topic for later.)
I know a few French words, but I can’t understand what the professor is even saying to know whether or not one of the words I do know is appropriate for tossing back at her. One phrase I use quite a bit in the class is Je ne comprends pas, which means I don’t know (or more literally, I don’t comprehend). Believe it or not, however, there are two other gentlemen in the class that are having even a tougher go at it than me. One is Persian (from Iran) and the other is an asian fellow who I think is from Vietnam. For these guys, at least at this point, words like oui (yes) or merci (thank you) are difficult to get out, which are probably the most universal French words there are.
The two other people in my class are students; one from Mexico (near Texas as I understand) and one from Scotland. Both of them are here for the sole purposes of studying French. The girl from Mexico is here for eight months, with about three of those already passed. She told me about another class she is taking in the daytime, 3-hours per day, five days per week, that is also for beginners, but unlike the one we are in, is more geared to reading, writing, grammar, etc. She is doing pretty good with her French; way ahead of my ability. I took the information about the class from her, because it really sounded like the kind of instruction I needed. Unfortunately, I can’t afford to pay for it, so I’ll simply keep watching the cool French commercials and hope for the best. The guy from Scotland is doing pretty good as well, but he says that his approach is to simply go out and interact with people on a daily basis. I suppose this is a good idea, and for him it’s necessary, as he’s living in a small apartment downtown by himself and doesn’t have much else to do. On the other hand, I have a pretty comfortable arrangement with my own translator, Hanane, so I haven’t yet had the need to really push myself. I am anxious to speak French though, so I’m trying to spend more time studying, but so far my efforts still seem pretty futile. Speaking French is going to be critical for me if I am to find work beyond my Web design projects in Seattle.
Ramadan
Ramadan, the month of fasting in Islam, began a few days after I arrived in Strasbourg, and since I am now a Muslim, I was obliged to experience my first Ramadan. Without too much detail, it essentially involves obstaining from food and drink (including water) from before sunrise to after sunset. There are other tenets to be aware of as well, such as no sex during the hours of fasting, but really it’s no big deal (well, OK, the sex is a big deal). The modus operandi is to get up bright and early before the fasting begins and eat and drink to your hearts content (mainly I just drink a lot of water, because to me that’s the most important thing), then you go back to bed and get up at your normal hour (or just stay up if 05:00 is your normal hour), then you fast all day, and then break the fast just after sundown.
It is traditional during Ramadan, because it is the holy month, to spend a lot of time with the family, eating at home, talking about Islam, etc. Hence, Hanane and I have been spending most nights at her parents. Each evening the fast is broken by eating a soup with bread, accompanied by dates, hard-boiled eggs, and a particular “pastry” that is quite dense, saturated in honey, and rolled in sesame seeds. I’m not too fond of the latter, as it’s a bit too sweet for me. After this is done, everyone kicks back in the living room and den to watch a bit of television and talk with eachother. I try and throw some French around, but mainly I just sit and absorb and much as I can. After a bit, it’s then time for tea (or coffee), which is served with various cookies, cakes, or whatever other sweet happens to be offered. Then it’s more television and gab. Finally, dinner comes, which is usually a meat or fish of some sort (no pork of course) served on a single platter that everyone shares (and there’s more bread, olives, etc.). Then there’s a little more gab, and we say our good-nights and go home. (And yes, you can have sex at this point.)
Update: Ramadan is now nearly over, a little more than a week to go. Nothing about Ramadan has been difficult. I have gone without food longer when I was an undergraduate student with no money. The only thing that I do miss in the daytime is a cup of coffee or tea. I miss that a lot, and Hanane and I are really looking forward to hitting the cafes and patisseries once Ramadan has passed, where the smells of coffee and fresh, French pastries beckon like Sirens. I can’t wait. The weather is getting colder, so cafes are even more inviting.
(End of Part II. Part III, the final part of The Catch-Up Chronicles is coming soon.)
